Being mum, third time around. In some ways it’s so much easier. You know, been around this block before a time or two and nothing much will surprise me. But in others it’s much harder. For me the harder part relates to my worn down patience and my desperate need for me time. I’ve reached the end of my natural desire to craft, cook cupcakes and read endless stories in funny character voices. I immersed myself in that life the first two times around. I feel like I really got down on my knees and took part in their lives on their level, which was great – for them. But now I don’t seem to own the patience necessary to go there again. I honestly feel bad about that – guilty even. But what’s a mamma to do when her patience is rice paper thin.
This tale I tell today could be echoed by a billion mothers all over the planet and I tell myself it’s a natural part of the journey. But to be honest I feel guilty that my third little miss is not getting the attention and stimulation her big sisters got. On the upside she does get bucket loads of attentions from them . They come home from school over-flowing with desire to teach her things and engage her mind in new and fun activities. Maybe that’s why at four she can already write the names of every member of our family. (It certainly had nothing to do with me!) Perhaps that is nature’s way. Keeping the mamma on the boil until the siblings are ready to take over ….. or is that just the story I tell myself to so I can sleep at night?
I am sad to say I am counting the months until my little one start four-year old kinder three days a week next February. I don’t want to waste these precious few months left as a full-time stay-at-home-mum, but I feel like if I don’t get some time alone soon I’ll be the one needing a daily dose of ABC kids for my own mental development! If you’re nodding your head as you read this you’ll know that even drives in the car don’t equate to free form thinking time with a chatterbox preschooler as your sidekick. As their continual chitter-chatter interrupts pretty much every thought that makes it into your mind. Oh the joys of trying to keep track of your own train of thought!
I don’t bash myself up to much about all this. I know I’m a good mum and my girls are well cared for and adjusted. But I do recognize I’m at my limit and I’m very glad we chose not to have a bigger family. Perhaps, if we did I’d have had to make some different choices. And childcare would surely be on the agenda.
Tell me, do you think you’ve parented your younger children differently?